Monday, February 8, 2016

Good morning crew,

So it turned out to be a really long weekend. One of the wife's good friends wanted to take her out to dinner for her birthday so we did that Friday night, and probably stayed out a little later than we should have.

Then Saturday night was the big downtown adventure, and we probably stayed out a little later than we should have that night too.

But at least the downtown plans went off without a hitch.

I was a little nervous when I found out last week that the restaurant we went to does not take reservations, especially since there were going to be seven people in our party, but by brow-beating everyone into meeting there at a nice and early five in the afternoon we were able to commandeer some seating at the bar through sheer force of numbers until they managed push a few tables together and accommodate us.

I think the wife enjoyed herself anyway, considering that this is a somewhat 'bohemian' kind of establishment that college kids and the local young turks tend to patronize. It is cramped, over-crowded, slightly smelly and the bathroom floors are sticky. In other words, it is the kind of place I hung out in 25 years ago.

But the food was good, the beer was cold and the company was jovial. And we got to act like young urbanites for a few hours, soaking up the atmosphere (and air pollution) of the downtown scene.

As a bonus for me, everybody felt obligated to kick in a little extra for the wife's birthday dinner, so by the time the check was passed around my contribution to the bill consisted of a couple off color jokes to the waitress.

I thought that was nice of everybody.

Afterward I thought we would wander around a bit, maybe have a drink at some of the local establishments, but ol' Mason announced that a hot spot called the Redhead Piano Bar is only 3 or 4 blocks from the pizzeria, so we walked over there for a digestif or two and a little entertainment.

They did have a piano player who was doing a pretty good job. He played a good variety and the wife and I even danced to a song or two by elbowing a little space out of the crowd right next to our table.

But the real entertainment was our server. She came over to our table wearing fishnet pantyhose, some kind of black sports coat, and from what I could tell not much else.

She asked if we wanted to start a tab, and when my brother Nino pulled out a shiny, gold credit card she immediately turned her back on the rest of us and started personally reading him the drink list. While sitting on his lap. I think she thought he was 'the most interesting man in the world'.

I've never seen a person look so pleased with himself and so uncomfortable at the same time. Probably because his wife was sitting across the table from him.

I guess it's just that kind of bar, but when I pulled out a crumpled up wad of fives and singles and pocket lint, the server didn't sit on my lap.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Facebook turned 12 years old today, and it's hard to believe it has only been 12 years since I learned to hate every single person I know." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, 'You mean I've been eating a dangerous chemical?' While most people were like, 'You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"According to a new study, women are more attracted to men who talk less. Which is why you often overhear women say, 'Check out that mime.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"Because we live in the modern age, women now have choices that are just killing them.

"They can have a job, not have a job. They can be married or unmarried, married with children, unmarried with children, married with children and a job, unmarried with children and a job, unmarried with children and no job, unmarried with children who themselves have jobs, have a job and an au pair who has children, marry the au pair, have the au pair have their children, etc...

"Men, unfortunately, have the same choice we've always had: we can work or we can go to jail." --Tim Allen


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Jim's doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left.

"All I want," Jim tells his beloved wife, "is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon." Which is exactly what they did.

But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she's tired and wants to go to sleep.

"Oh, come on," Jim whispers in her ear, "one more time."

"Look," his wife snaps, "I've got to get up in the morning. You don't!"