Friday, March 20, 2015

Good morning crew,

Ah, spring! We are welcoming the first day of the new season here in the greater Chicagoland area with 48 degrees and clouds. It could be worse. I was just reading the Clean Laffs issue from last year on the first day of spring and it was sleeting.

But I am looking forward to next week. A few days ago the wife was saying how glad she was to say good-bye to sleet and snow, and I bet her that we would get at least one more snowfall before winter lets us out of its grip.

I just looked at the forecast and they are predicting snow Sunday and or Monday. Now, I don't want to say what the stakes are for my bet with the wife (it's not cash!), but suffice it to say she really, really doesn't want to lose.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"I've been doing a lot of drinking here in Austin. Here's how you know you're having a good time - when you go for coffee in the morning and realize that the key to your hotel room is still in the door from the night before." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A lawmaker in Nevada just introduced a new bill that would provide pets with medical marijuana. Weed for pets. Which raises the question: Is it possible for cats to sleep 25 hours a day?" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Pope Francis said that one of the things he misses most about ordinary life is the ability to go out and eat pizza without being recognized. I wouldn't worry. Nobody's going to believe the guy who works at the pizza place when he says, 'Hey, you know who came in today? The Pope.'" -Seth Meyers

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Scientists Decode the First Low-Frequency Radio Waves From an Alien Civilization Ever to Reach Earth...

Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to the Star System at the top of the list, cross off that star system, then put your Star System at the bottom of the list and send it to 100 other Star Systems. Within one-tenth of a Galactic Rotation you will receive enough hydrogen to power your civilization until entropy reaches maximum! IT REALLY WORKS!


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A blonde is taking the driving portion of her driver's license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite well. She has a little trouble parallel parking, however, and winds up a couple of feet from the curb.

"Could you get a little closer?" the examiner asks.

The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt and slides over toward the examiner. "Now what?"