Thursday, October 6, 2011

Good morning crew,

Talk about a cold night. I thought I had brought just about everything I could possibly need on the camping trip, but one of the things I don't have and didn't bother to borrow was sleeping bags. But who needs sleeping bags when I have stacks of blankets and comforters in my closet?

I guess anybody who is experienced with camping knows the answer to that one.

You see, sleeping bags are stuffed with down (or more commonly in modern bags some sort of synthetic insulation) which is ideal for capturing body heat. So while a cotton blanket is fine for keeping warm in a dry, cozy, 69 degree bedroom, it does approximately jack-squat outside on a 45 degree night while surrounded by a fraction of a millimeter of nylon tent. It was like sleeping in the fridge.

Needless to say neither the girlfriend nor I got much sleep, rotating every 30 minutes or so to find the maximum warmth.

By four-thirty or five the rain finally stopped, and around six-thirty I gave up trying to sleep and crawled outside on stiff, shivering limbs to try and get another fire started.

Once again, like the genius I am, I over-looked the most important preparation of the night before, which was keeping all of the firewood dry. I had bought a half load which was stacked neatly next to the tent and now completely soaked.

It took every last stick of kindling and fire-starter I had to get that wood to start, but at least by seven or so I had a nice, big blaze going.

The weather stayed overcast through breakfast, but by noon the sun actually peeked out a few times. We took a little day hike and were flirting with the idea of continuing on with our original plan and staying a second night when yet another storm came rolling through.

We had it. Scrambling in the rain we packed our bags, packed up the coolers, took down the tent and packed that away wet, and just when we got the last item in the truck...the rain stopped and the sun came out again.

It was like a practical joke.

the girlfriend looked at me and asked, "Do you want to put the tent up again?"

I looked at my watch and answered, "If we leave now we'll have just enough time to shower and change and make it to Capri for dinner at 8:30."

She said, "I'll call for reservations on the road."

As it turned out, abandoning the camping trip was the first smart decision we made. 20 minutes on the road and it started raining again.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Amanda Knox has been acquitted. She spent four years in an Italian prison ? it sounds bad, but it includes a salad and bread sticks." -David Letterman

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"I don't know much about the Supreme Court. If it's anything like the Supreme Taco, it's like a regular court, but with extra sour cream." -Craig Ferguson

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"More than 700 protestors were arrested over the weekend for blocking traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. They say the best way to fight corporate greed is to make random people sit in traffic while they're trying to visit their aunt in Brooklyn." -Jimmy Kimmel

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When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me.

At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog."

As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
As I quizzed my driver's-education students about road signs, the one for Slow Moving Vehicle stumped them. So I offered them a hint by lifting the sign above my head and slowly parading up and down the room.

One student thought he had it: "Wide load!" he called out.