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Clean Laffs - The uninvited guest is often the most blessed.
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Friday, September 9, 2016
Good morning crew,
It looks like Zack, the guy who shows up in so many of our product videos on
, is getting married.
When he first announced it I thought it was just a gag, but the blessed event is actually happening this weekend.
So I'm heading to the reception Saturday night.
I wasn't invited - but I'm going.
Laugh it up,
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"Happy birthday to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. It was the first birthday party where someone jumped into the cake instead of out of it." -Jimmy Fallon
"Labor Day Weekend is always kind of sad to me. Summer's over. Good-bye fun sandals and flirty tops, hello pictures of kids wearing backpacks on Facebook." -Jimmy Kimmel
"President Obama flew to China for Labor Day. There was a bit of a rough patch at the beginning of the meeting, when Chinese officials wouldn't let President Obama get off Air Force One using the normal staircase, or 'Stair Force One' - I hope that's what they call it." -Stephen Colbert
I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The nurse asked for my height and weight and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."
While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Dot you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler.
The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatist, steadfastly replied,
"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back in my face, I can use it again."
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