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Friday, September 9, 2016

Good morning crew,

It looks like Zack, the guy who shows up in so many of our product videos on www.pulseTV.com, is getting married.

When he first announced it I thought it was just a gag, but the blessed event is actually happening this weekend.

So I'm heading to the reception Saturday night.

I wasn't invited - but I'm going.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Happy birthday to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. It was the first birthday party where someone jumped into the cake instead of out of it." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Labor Day Weekend is always kind of sad to me. Summer's over. Good-bye fun sandals and flirty tops, hello pictures of kids wearing backpacks on Facebook." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"President Obama flew to China for Labor Day. There was a bit of a rough patch at the beginning of the meeting, when Chinese officials wouldn't let President Obama get off Air Force One using the normal staircase, or 'Stair Force One' - I hope that's what they call it." -Stephen Colbert

***

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The nurse asked for my height and weight and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."

While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Dot you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler.

The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatist, steadfastly replied,

"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back in my face, I can use it again."

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