Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Good morning crew,

Now I know where I rate in my own house. At least with the dog.

Typically we lock the mutt up at night so we don't have to worry about her doing doggy stuff all over the carpet while we're sleeping. But every now and then the wife will get to feeling guilty about it and she will leave the dog out. Invariably on these occasions the dog will climb between us to sleep on the bed.

I have been alone the last few nights since the wife is house sitting all week, and I don't know, maybe I was feeling lonely, but last night I decided not to lock the mutt up in her cage.

With a night of freedom and an entire house to choose from, you know where she slept now that it's just me in the bed? Underneath the coffee table in the living room.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new report, by 2050, the world's oceans will contain more plastic trash than fish. So the next time you get dumped, remember: There's plenty of trash in the sea." -Seth Meyers

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"Winter storm Jonas slammed the East Coast, some places got up to 3 feet of snow. All weekend I I did not leave the house or take a shower. I did get up early on Sunday to do some shoveling, of pancakes into my mouth." -Stephen Colbert

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"In Elkmont, Alabama, last weekend a dog got loose and ended up in a half marathon. The dog saw all the people and just started running with them. She did well. She finished seventh place. She would have finished higher if she hadn't stopped to sniff people's butts." -Jimmy Kimmel

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One night at about 3 a.m. my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her.

She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom.

This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side.

The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bathroom.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.