Monday, May 23, 2011

Good morning crew,

Is it Monday again already? It seems like just day before yesterday it was Saturday. Well, that's nothing that a large glass of water, some antacid, a couple cups of coffee, an aspirin, a light breakfast and the rest of the day off won't cure.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!

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"They say that when you have a baby, you lose 700 hours of sleep in the first year, but it's worth it when they're old enough to do the yard work." -Craig Ferguson

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"A new study found that the average child is more likely to own a cell phone than a book. I guess that would explain why he's average." -Jimmy Fallon

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"McDonald's is undergoing a billion-dollar makeover, to be more like Starbucks � snobby, overpriced, and full of unemployed people." -Jay Leno

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When the famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925) was a young man, he went to the home of the father of his prospective wife to ask him for her hand in marriage. Bryan was determined to impress the father by quoting from the Bible, and he chose Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD."

Bryan was unnerved when the father replied by quoting Paul: "So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better." (1 Corinthians 7:38)

Bryan, never at a loss for words, said: "Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore, I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge as to marriage."


*----------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ------------------*

At the beginning of the school year, one seventh grader was reflecting on his chance at being the 8th grade valedictorian. He said his dad was valedictorian, his mom was valedictorian, and his sister was also valedictorian. He paused, leaned back in his chair and said, "Looks like the end of an era!"