Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Good morning crew,

So the Hofbrauhaus in Rosemont has this odd little tradition. If you buy a shot of booze the waitress will serve it to you (or whomever you buy it for) on a large wooden paddle after which she will ask you to bend over the table and then spank you with said paddle.

Hey, I didn't come up with this bizarre practice (more's the pity), but last weekend while we were there I did instigate a brief spanking frenzy at our table.

There was quite a group of us, about 15, and after a liter and a half of Hofbrau Dunkel I made the mistake of ordering a shot for one of the other gentlemen in our group (not Mason this time, believe it or not).

Ten minutes later I got the compliment returned. Pretty soon the waitress was making a trip to our table every few minutes with another paddle shot. Even the servers who do this kind of thing all the time were starting to look at us funny, like, 'Hey guys, there are places you can go to have this kind of thing done to you professionally.'

The final bill was not pretty.

The worst part is that much of it was caught on video.

One of the few people who did not get one was the wife. She demurred, but I think she was a little disappointed.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"New York City has this program, stop and frisk. If the cops see anything that they don't care for, they'll frisk you. Now, during Fashion Week, they changed that program to 'stop and embroider.'" -Dave Letterman

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"I didn't learn to ski until I was 45. Skiing makes me feel like a rugged adventurer. The wind on my cheeks, the ice-crusted goggles, those little mini marshmallows in my cocoa." -Craig Ferguson

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"After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, 'You mean I've been eating a dangerous chemical?' While most people were like, 'You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Because we live in the modern age, women now have choices that are just killing them.

"They can have a job, not have a job. They can be married or unmarried, married with children, unmarried with children, married with children and a job, unmarried with children and a job, unmarried with children and no job, unmarried with children who themselves have jobs, have a job and an au pair who has children, marry the au pair, have the au pair have their children, etc...

"Men, unfortunately, have the same choice we've always had: we can work or we can go to jail." --Tim Allen


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Many people hold down two jobs, so I wasn't surprised when my hairdresser mentioned to me that he also worked part-time at the race track. "That's interesting," I said. "What do you do?"

As he finished styling my hair, he replied, "I groom horses."