Monday, April 14, 2014

Good morning crew,

Welcome to a new week, folks. Here in the Chicago area we are celebrating the fourth full week of spring with a little snow and sleet being blown around by 30 mile-per-hour winds.

But don't worry about us because the temperatures are supposed to rocket all the way up to 39 degrees later this week.

The face-stinging sleet and nearly freezing temperatures should really bring the house-hunters out to look at the condo.

I know I sound pessimistic. The wife constantly points that out to me (don't you wish you were married to me), but I always tell her, 'If you always expect the worst you're never disappointed.'

She hasn't really embraced that attitude.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A math blogger says he's figured out 'the world's favorite number.' It turns out that it's 7. The least popular number? The fake phone number you get when you tell a girl you're a math blogger." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Anthony Bourdain wrote books about food. Hey, let's play 'Books About Food.' There's 'The Ketchup on the Rye.' 'To Grill a Mockingbird.' 'The Burritos of Madison County.' 'Lord of the Onion Rings.' '50 Shades of Gravy.' 'Harry Pot Roast.'" -Craig Ferguson

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"A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep." -Seth Meyers

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"Sally," asked Linda one day, "what would you do if you caught another woman fooling around with your husband?"

"With George?" Sally thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?"

Knowing that he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?"

He lifted his head and replied, "I'll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker."