Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Good morning crew,

I read somewhere that bipolar disorder (or manic-depressive disorder) is tied to creativity, which is why practically every single celebrity seems to have it.

Maybe that's why I have never made a smashing success out of my life. And it's not even that I am balanced like a top, emotionally speaking. I get manic, usually when a payday falls on a Friday, and a lot of times I'll get depressed, like when my bills come due and I realize I drank most of my paycheck. I guess it must be a plain, old, simple lack of talent.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


***
"With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress." --Ransom K. Ferm

***
"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be." -Paul Valery

***
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." -Douglas Adams

***
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming.

He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized.

"Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of who fathers her children!"

Then he got a little panicky. "I don't remember her," he thought, but MAYBE..during one of the fraternity parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child! He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we had a little too much to drink and spent the night together but I never called you again afterward?"

"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's Sunday School teacher."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The tourist in London climbed into a cab and noticed by the license that his cab driver's name was "Winston Churchill." Trying to make conversation, he said, "I see your name is Winston Churchill."

The driver simply said, "Yep. That's my moniker."

The passenger, not willing to give up yet on some banter said, "That's a pretty famous name."

The driver responded with: "As well it should be too. I've been driving a cab here for over thirty years."