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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Good morning crew,

Easter weekend is almost here! Unless you're not Christian in which case it's the third weekend in April.

Easter is, of course, a celebration of the Resurrection, but let's not be hypocrites. The real reason we look forward to Easter is ham!

Honey baked ham and hard boiled eggs. And let's not forget the scalloped potatoes with cheddar cheese, quiche, green bean casserole, home made hot cross buns and cobbler.

I'm not going to have time to color any eggs this weekend, which is fine, since I'm not Persian or Macedonian.

The Persians were the first to use colored eggs to celebrate spring in 3,000 B.C. 13th century Macedonians were the first Christians on record to use colored eggs in Easter celebrations.

Crusaders returning from the Middle East spread the custom of coloring eggs, and Europeans began to use them to celebrate Easter.

Now you have a bit of trivia to intimidate friends and family with this weekend.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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***

"Some scientists now believe that Jesus Christ had a wife. They also believe that Jesus' nephew called Jesus' wife the "Auntie Christ.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"A couple in Michigan is being sued for $2 million after they burned down their apartment complex while trying to cook a squirrel with a blowtorch. I'm not an accountant, but it SOUNDS like they might not have $2 million." -Seth Meyers

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"The world's oldest living person, aged 114, passed away. The cause of death - you guessed it - a knife fight." -Craig Ferguson

***

"Yo, Mrs. Miller," said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop.

My husband and I looked at him but drew complete blanks. "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" I asked.

"Yeah, you was my English teacher."

Leaning over, my husband whispered, "Good job, Honey, good job."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer and a carpenter. One afternoon he returned early from work and saw a plumber's truck in the driveway.

"Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let her be having an affair."