Friday, January 9, 2015

Good morning crew,

Wow! Is it cold. In the single digits. It is supposed to snow this afternoon too, with gusting winds up to 23 miles-per-hour which will probably turn the expressways into nearly whited-out death traps with traffic crawling along at well below speed limits.

And the poor wife is still sick. She dragged herself into work this morning, but when she gets home tonight I'm sure she is going to be a sniffling mess, wiped out from coughing and drooling snot all day and in dire need of a little tender loving care.

So it seems like the perfect opportunity to head up north after work and hit the Hofbrauhaus in Rosemont with Mason. They are debuting their new Dunkelgold beer this weekend.

Well, you know, priorities.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
"Scientists have made a pill that tricks you into thinking your body is full. Unfortunately, it's filled with mashed potatoes and has 8,500 calories." -Conan O'Brien

***
"A total of 71 lawmakers in the new Congress are freshmen. Their parents helped them move in over the weekend." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"The newly elected congressmen and women from the midterm elections were sworn in today. This Congress will be the most diverse ever, with 104 women. That's right, 104 female lawmakers. In other words, there's going to be a lot of filibusters that go like this: 'You know what you did.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
My name, Leone, is a feminine spelling of Leon, which often causes confusion. When my car registration arrived marked "M" for male, I sent it back to the motor-vehicle bureau with this request: "I am an 'F.' Would you please make the correction?"

The bureau promptly sent me another form. It read: "Please give the reason for this change."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back."