Thursday, July 11, 2013Good morning crew,
I will be assisting with promotion testing at the school this weekend. Then Saturday night I will be attending a birthday party for an old friend of mine.
Fortunately I have these low-cost plans to occupy my weekend because I have about 40 dollars in my pocket and payday isn't until Monday.
The only trick will be finding an appropriate birthday gift while leaving enough money left over for beer. That will leave me a cash gift-buying budget of about 4 dollars.
Well, the birthday boy is a friend of the wife's too, so I am sure I will be able to guilt-trip her into contributing some cash.
Or...maybe I will buy beer AS a gift and just drink it at the party!
Brilliant.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S.
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***"A funeral home in Virginia added a drive-thru. Now you can pay loved ones the same kind of respect you'd pay an Egg McMuffin. It's a great way to say I care but not enough to get out of my car." -Jimmy Kimmel
***"President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ? headlights." -Jimmy Fallon
***"Mexico has replaced the U.S. as the world's fattest nation. The U.S. is now number two. The Mexican government has done a lot of research. It turns out their people eat way too much Mexican food." -Conan O'Brien
***Think About It!
* Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
* Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you're in a public restroom.
* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
* The real reason you can't take it with you is that it goes before you do.
* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
* A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday with a television on the blink.
* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.
* Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the body. "Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier," said my father.
He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. "I didn't get any beer," one said. "Did you?"
"You heard the chaplain," the other replied. "It was just for the family."