Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Good morning crew,

There is so much hype for Election Day I don't understand why it isn't a national holiday. Everybody gets off for Thanksgiving, but taking the time to elect our nation's president and other legislative and judicial officials isn't as important? Explain that one to me.

We should all be able to take a leisurely morning to vote, and then spend the rest of the day drinking away the regret of our decision in the bar.

It's the only true democratic way.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. In case you missed the subtle plug in yesterday's issue for our new customizable wine rack you can watch Zack and I describe it in intimate detail in the video.

***
"This Sunday is the end of Daylight Saving Time. So to all my younger viewers, remember to set your clocks back ? and to my parents, remember to put a fresh piece of tape over the clock on your VCR." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"Mayor Bloomberg lifted his three or more people per car rule tonight. No one was allowed to cross the bridges between 6 a.m. until midnight unless they were in a car pool because the tunnels flooded. It's known as car pool tunnel syndrome." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"The latest James Bond movie, 'Skyfall,' is really good but there's a bit of a controversy now because of product placement. Like instead of his signature martini, Bond now drinks Heineken. That's not the only example ? 007 is now 007-11. You know Miss Moneypenny? She's now Miss JCPenny." -Jay Leno

***
In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?"

Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Music Styles

JAZZ
Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.

BLUES
Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.

WORLD MUSIC
Dozen different types of percussion all going at once.

OPERA
People singing when they should be talking.

RAP
People talking when they should be singing.

CLASSICAL
Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad.

FOLK
Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century.

BIG BAND
20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer.

HEAVY METAL:
Codpiece and chaps

HOUSE MUSIC
OK as long as it's not the house next door.