Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Good morning crew,

The thing I hate about budgeting, which is what I assume everybody hates about budgeting, is that when you don't have any money left you have to make do with what you have.

For example, the wife and I are planning to go out this coming weekend, which means I can't blow any cash this week on frivolities like food.

So when I got home last night I started going through the pantry and the fridge to see what I could scrape together and turn into a meal.

I had a box of macaroni and cheese, a can of tuna, a can of cream of broccoli soup, a bag of frozen peas, and some leftover chicken from last weekend's cookout.

I boiled up the macaroni, then I stripped the chicken off the bones and mixed it into the noodles along with the tuna, the peas, the soup and the cheese.

And just because it was looking a little bland I added a little powdered cayenne pepper. Then I scooped the whole melange into a casserole dish and popped it into the oven for a half hour.

For those of you who have spent any significant time living by yourselves, you might recognize this as a bachelor casserole. It comes in many forms. Sometimes it includes macaroni and cheese, sometimes it includes ramen noodles, sometimes it includes hot dogs and sometimes it includes eggs, but it is always cheap and filling.

And you know what? It wasn't half bad. The wife's only comment when she dug into it was, 'You used too much cayenne.' But she ate three scoops.

But the important part is I didn't dip into the entertainment fund I set aside for this weekend.

Now if I acted like an investment bank I would have gone out last night and put it on my credit card, the same with tonight, tomorrow night and Friday night.

Then when the bill comes at the end of the month I'd send it to you.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Google has created several new emojis aimed at empowering women. So congratulations women, you asked for equal pay and you got five new emojis." -Conan O'Brien

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"A 70-year-old woman in India recently gave birth to a baby boy. The baby and his mother are doing fine. The doctor, however, is still recovering." -Seth Meyers

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"Today it was announced that a Russian man will be the recipient of the world's first head transplant. Could you imagine getting a new body and then looking in the mirror and being like, 'Seriously? A butterfly tattoo?'" -James Corden

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A dottering, old professor of logic asked his College class a question.

"If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angeles is 2000 miles from Chicago, and the Moon is 239,000 miles from Earth, how old am I?"

A student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said, "Professor, you're 70."

The old professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"

The student said, "It's easy, I have a brother, he's 35, and he's half nuts."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any.

So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

The produce guy looked at me and said, "No, sir, you'll have to do that yourself."