RELAX... It's Easy With The Tush-eez Cushion...
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1060/c/186/a/505
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Thursday, May 6, 2010
Good morning crew,
It's the weekend...for all intents and purposes...and I'm
facing quite a challenge this Saturday, too. It's getting
around that time of year when the girlfriend tries to get
me to go country line dancing.
Last year I had a dismal fifty percent success ratio. She
got me to go once, but the second time I was able to talk
my way out of it by claming a flair up of dysplasia.
This time the stakes are much higher. This is no country
bar she wants to go to, but a real life, actual barn with
straw on the floor and everything.
Despite my appreciation for John Denver I am no country
boy. It might be worth going just for the anthropological
observations, but stuck out in the country somewhere in
that kind of environment I'm afraid the natives might
identify me as an outsider, and then who knows what might
happen!
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We now have a Forum. You can post comments on this and
recent issues at... http://cleanlaffs.gophercentral.com
***
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***
"A DMV clerk in Massachusetts hacked into the state computer
and cleared her driving record of $1,400 in parking fines.
She was arrested for the crime, but rewarded for actually
doing something while working at a DMV." -Jimmy Fallon
***
"The world's oldest living person, aged 114, passed away.
The cause of death ? you guessed it ? a knife fight."
-Craig Ferguson
***
"Happy Cinco de Mayo. This is the only day they do this ?
if you get pulled over for drunk driving, they put salt
around the rim of the breathalyzer." -Jay Leno
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Liv Breast-Self Exam Aid
Endorsed & Used By Olivia Newton- John...
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Olivia Newton-John was diagnosed with breast cancer
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Olivia found a lump through BSE (Breast Self Exam)
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A crew of highway maintenance workers were sent to repair
some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested
area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning
of a deer crossing.
As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one
member, of the crew looked back and spotted a deer running
across the highway. She turned to a co-worker and said, "I
wonder how long he's been waiting to cross?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
My husband was telling me about a news item he heard on
National Public Radio about how the U.S. military is en-
listing honeybees to find land mines. The insects are
trained to react to the scent of TNT, then are fitted
with transmitters and sent out to search for underground
explosives. "When they smell TNT," my husband explained,
"the insects hover over the area and the military tracks
them to the site to safely eliminate the land mine."
"Gee," I remarked, "it gives a whole new meaning to the
slogan 'Bee all that you can bee!'"
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