Thursday, May 19, 2011Good morning crew,
If everything has gone according to plan so far I should be at the airport right now having my Fourth Amendment rights violated by TSA. By 2:30 this afternoon I should be touching down in Orlando. Then a ninety minute shuttle bus ride and a half hour cab ride and a mere ten hours after leaving my apartment I should be collapsing from exhaustion on Mom's doorstep. That's the miracle of modern travel. I guess it's better than 22 hours sitting in the truck.
The advantage is that I get to play on the beach, eat fresh seafood and drink beer and maybe even do a little SCUBA diving for the next three days. That doesn't leave a whole lot of time for visiting with Mom, but that's what she gets for not being SCUBA certified.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!
***"An Illinois state senator wants to take away the state tax deduction from parents with an obese child. I've heard of getting behind on your taxes, but never getting taxed on your behind." -Jay Leno
***"I was homeschooled, which meant that I had to bully myself."
-Dave Letterman
***"There is a company in Los Angeles that's selling a bottle of water for $2,600. You know what's just as ridiculous? A $2 bottle of water." -Jimmy Fallon
***While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbor, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking.
He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we homeschooled them.
With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family.
I said, "No, I also work... but out of our home."
Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in.
"He was born at home," I answered.
The man looked at me and said, "You don't get out much, do you?"
*---------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes -----------------*Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.
"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be much lower."
My brother smiled and said, "Dad, that would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."