Monday, November 16, 2015

Good morning crew,

Saturday afternoon I had a few people over for (what will probably be) the last cookout of the year. It was a really nice day and I didn't want to waste it.

As a cookout everything went well. We even built a fire in the firepit afterward while relaxing over a few post-prandial beverages.

The cleanup Sunday morning, on the other hand, was far from pleasant. The wind was pretty perky that night and the wood smoke got everywhere! I had to do three loads of laundry just to get the smell of smoke out of everything.

Then the grill had to be cleaned and put away, the firepit emptied, and the patio hosed down. Then I faced a small mountain of dishes piled in the kitchen sink.

It was a good five hours of work.

You know, it always seems like a good idea to host a gathering because I don't have to go anywhere to get there and at the end of the night I'm already home.

The big disadvantage, of course, is literally everything else.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Apple announced a plan to create 1,000 new jobs in Ireland. Irish people were excited, until Apple told them, 'It's a Genius Bar, not a Guinness Bar.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"We all know being an adult is hard. When you were a kid, having your mom around made things a lot easier. Which is why one woman in Brooklyn is offering her services for $40 an hour as a rent-a-mom - sewing buttons on your shirts, baking your favorite dessert, and calling you at 6 a.m. on a Saturday because she can't remember how to set the DVR. It's got to be uncomfortable when your real mom notices all your shirts are ironed and your bed is made and goes, 'Wait a minute...have you been seeing other moms?'" -James Corden

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"Walmart will be open at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving this year, as will most of the major retailers. And let's be honest, the truth is we don't really want to shop on Thanksgiving. We just want an excuse to get away from our families immediately after the pie." -Jimmy Kimmel

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A woman walked into the elevator tossing her keys up in the air and catching them. After one too many tosses, she dropped the keys, and we watched as they disappeared into the crack between the open doors and the floor.

I felt terrible for her. Or I did until she cried, "Oh no! Not again!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Heading down the interstate, our car passed through a huge swarm of gnats so dense that their bodies made popping noises as they hit the windshield. "I can't get over how loud they are," my wife said.

"Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour," I pointed out.

Her reply left me speechless. "There's no way bugs can fly that fast!"