Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Good morning crew,

Oh, the anticipation! With a little luck I just might get two turkey dinners tomorrow. And with a feast of that proportion in my near future I have to be careful about my diet today.

That means light and easily digestible. I'm thinking either vegetarian or maybe sushi. A little fish and rice tonight won't interfere with the 3,000 calories worth of turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole I plan on consuming tomorrow.

The six beers and two pints of hot sake on the other hand...

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new poll found that 54 percent of Americans say it's too early to be playing Christmas music. I couldn't agree more. Now let's talk about the 2016 presidential race." -Seth Meyers

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"The good people at Butterball have been running a toll-free hotline for turkey-cooking tips since 1981. Every year the turkey talk line receives more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able to save a turkey's life." -Stephen Colbert

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"For the first time in 32 years, Butterball is adding male staffers to their Thanksgiving turkey talk line, the phone number you can call if you are having trouble cooking your turkey. One of the guys just yells questions to his wife in the other room." -Jimmy Kimmel

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My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were old enough, we began letting our children say the meal prayer. Of course at first they would ask for a pony, a new bike, etc. They soon learned the more important things which should be included in the prayer.

At Thanksgiving we had the whole family over. My nine year old wanted to say the prayer. It went like this: "Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for the turkey, the rolls, the mashed potatoes, the red jiggly stuff, and the bread stuff even though I don't like it. We ask that You not let us choke on this food."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Two old men went hunting one day. A hang glider came soaring overhead and the first old man raised his gun and fired. After a brief pause the second old man asked "Did you get it, whatever it was?"

The first old man replied "No, I think I missed it. But I sure as heck made it turn loose that poor fella it was carrying away!"