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Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Good morning crew,

I think I have found the most difficult exercise there is to do at the health club, and that is walking through the front door.

Let me put it this way; it takes me about three minutes to drive from the office to the intersection that will either take me home or to the health club, and in that three minutes a titanic struggle takes place.

It's like my body knows I'm planning to force it to exercise. A wave of fatigue washes over me and a vision of myself sitting on my leather sofa in my underwear and drinking a beer swims before my eyes like a mirage.

I have to force myself to turn into the health club, sometimes with verbal exhortations, like a crazy person.

Of course, once I'm in there I'm just as unmotivated as I was in the car, but I might as well pick up a few weights while I'm standing around. What else am I going to do?

The amazing thing is that once I get started I get into it pretty quickly. In fact, I frequently find myself stretching my workouts by a few minutes just to squeeze in an extra set or two.

But no matter how good I feel about myself afterward I always go through the exact same thing every time I'm supposed to go to the health club.

It could be the health club itself. It smells funny and I hate having to jockey for access to the various benches and machines with all of the sweaty, grunting muscleheads.

I wonder if I would have the same motivation problem if I had a few thousand dollars worth of my own exercise equipment? Think the wife would let me turn the basement into a weight room?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A man in Canada has pled guilty to trespassing into a home and doing laundry and feeding the owner's cat. The man is being described by authorities as marriage material." -Conan O'Brien

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"Researchers in Japan have found that several species of ape can remember and recall plot details from movies. Then there are the less advanced species of ape who whisper to you, 'Who's that guy?'" -Seth Meyers

***

"More people have died taking selfies than have been killed by sharks. My policy is, you should treat selfies like you treat drinking. Try not to do it alone, definitely don't do it while you're driving, and if you take more than two or three a day, you should probably seek help." -James Corden

***

As he was standing in line at the grocery store checkout counter, a friend of John's noticed he was purchasing a dozen roses and a card.

"You in trouble with Jill?" the friend asked John.

"Nope!" was John's reply. "Preventive maintenance."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

Driving along the freeway in Southern CA, I spied two landscaping trucks loaded with sod and bearing these slogans: "Instant Grassification" and "Sodisfaction Guaranteed."