Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Good morning crew,

Hey, hey, hey, it's Tax Day! Not that it matters to me all that much. I filed my return, received my refund, and spent most of it a month ago.

But I did mark the day by taking my truck in for some new tires and an alignment, because blowing over 600 bucks on vehicle maintenance will make me feel like I'm getting screwed along with the rest of the country.

But something a bit odd did happen when I brought my truck in.

Last month when we had our taxes done, I said to the wife that it was nice to get everything done so early, because if we actually owed the government money we would be waiting all the way until Tax Day to file.

So she asked me what Tax Day was.

I said, "The day your federal income tax is due to be filed, along with the 100 million or so other legally employed Americans. You didn't know it was called Tax Day?"

"No," she said. "When is it?"

I gave her a double take, "What do you mean 'when is it?' It is the same day it's been since World War II."

"Ok. When?"

"You seriously don't know the deadline for filing your taxes?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "My dad always did it for me."

I was amazed. I didn't think there was an American over 16 years old who wasn't intimately familiar with that most tyrannical of dates.

Fast forward to this morning. The guy at the tire and battery shop was asking me to fill out some paperwork and he said, "And just put the date here, April 16."

"Nope," I said. "Today's Tax Day."

"Today is what now?" he asked.

"Today's Tax Day," I said.

And believe it or not, hand on my heart, he said, "What's that?"

Now I feel guilty for making fun of my poor wife. I'm sorry, Sweetheart. You are not alone in the world!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die." -Conan O'Brien

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"Yesterday was my birthday. Every year my relatives from all over the country race to my house thinking it's going to be the reading of the will. " -Dave Letterman

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"Hillary Clinton announced that she is running. Then she drove from New York to Iowa in a van. You can't be president of the United States unless you agree to eat a corn dog in front of a small group of farmers." -Jimmy Kimmel

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We got lucky when we heard the old Piedmont Hotel in Atlanta was getting a face-lift and its beautiful maple doors became available for sale as salvage items. We bought several and had them installed in our 19th-century home.

Showing a friend around the house, I pointed out, "You know, these doors are from the Piedmont Hotel."

He raised an eyebrow. "Most people just take towels."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Our pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship committee stood to go to the church hall and prepare snacks for the congregation. Seeing them rise, Pastor Michael singled them out for praise. "Before they all slip out," he urged, "let's give these ladies a big hand in the rear."