Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Good morning crew,

Well, the wife did eventually get around to creating her own Halloween tombstone. In fact, it was her first time creating anything with power tools and she enjoyed seeing her ideas come to life so much, that she decided to do one for the dog, too.

She got the crazy idea to do a tombstone with the outline of a dog bone on top of it. Kind of ambitious for someone who has never handled a saw before, but I didn't want to discourage her. You should have seen her merrily sawing away. She had a couple close calls as she negotiated some complicated curves she had mapped out for herself, but I have to admit the final result did more or less resemble a dog bone.

We both spent most of the day Sunday painting and decorating them, so now we have enough tombstones to create a decent graveyard on the front lawn. All I have to do now is erect it.

After all of this time, money and effort to create Halloween decorations it seems like kind of a waste that the only ones to see it all will be the local street urchins while they are trick-or-treating. So I'm thinking about inviting a few people over for a little party.

I mean, there is no satisfaction in the fruits of my creative juices if there is no one there to appreciate them.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Starbucks is adding a new feature to their drive-through locations, video screens. So that way you can see the person misspell your name on the cup while it's happening." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"According to a new survey, fewer than 2 percent of hiring managers said they were actively recruiting graduates with liberal arts degrees. Said liberal arts graduates, 'Latte for Karen.'" -Seth Meyers

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"Mayor Bill de Blasio signed a bill last week that requires stores here in New York City to keep their doors closed when their air conditioning is on. So apparently Bill de Blasio is not only our Mayor, he's also our dad. 'I'm not paying to cool off the whole world! SHUT THAT DOOR!'" -Jimmy Fallon

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A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist's office and declares, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!"

The hypnotherapist shakes his head and says. "Not again..."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.

"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.

The man quickly answered. "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."