Friday, October 21, 2016

Good morning crew,

I hate to admit it, because I am a bit of a Germanophile, but I found the food in Germany somewhat lacking. Not that any of it was bad, but it was plain, and if I am going to be perfectly honest, a bit tasteless.

For example (zum beispiel); one evening we were to be treated to an authentic German dinner of Wiener schnitzel. Oh, I was looking forward to it. But when the plate was placed in front of me what I found was a brown plank about the size of my hand with the thickness of corrugated cardboard. And when I cut into it I found it tough and dry. And on the side? French fries.

Compared to the Hofbrauhaus in Rosemont, Il, 45 minutes from my house, and their three-quarter inch thick, juicy pork tenderloin, breaded and deep fried to a golden brown deliciousness and served with a fist-sized scoop of creamy, German kartofflelsalat, the "authentic" German version I traveled 3,000 miles for was more of an exercise in chewing.

Granted, these were not 4-star hotels we were staying in, but you would think a quaint, homey, little family-owned place could do better than something that was probably In a box and frozen 30 minutes before it was on my plate.

Another oddity I found with the German diet was their preoccupation with cold cuts. Particularly at breakfast. Every breakfast consisted of a baloney, pimento loaf and cheese sandwich with some fresh vegetables and coffee. Oh, there were some scrambled eggs tucked away in a warming tray somewhere, but it was obvious by the large and impressive presentation of deli meats that these were the star of the show.

Nothing kicks the day off like a pimento loaf hoagie and a hot mug of coffee.

The best meal I had in Germany consisted of some delicious, spicy little sausages, about the size of breakfast sausages, served with a generous scoop of sauerkraut and some buttery baked potato wedges. Oddly enough, this meal was served in an Italian restaurant. But more on that later.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The Austrian government announced that they will be tearing down the house where Adolf Hitler was born. But the government said they won't leave the lot vacant, which means 'the house where Hitler was born' might soon be 'the pilates studio where Hitler was born.'" -James Corden

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"Every four years Scholastic News Magazine sponsors a mock election where kids from all over the country cast a vote for president. The results have been correct in every election since 1964 and this year Hillary Clinton won in a landslide; she beat Trump 52-35. The other 13 percent voted for SpongeBob." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"A new survey found that 55 percent of men expect to pay on the first date. While the other 45 percent have never been on a second date." -Jimmy Fallon

***
My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old's antics and pounded the table.

Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!"

The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!"




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

"No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."

"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.

"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."