Monday, March 23, 2015

Good morning crew,

Nothing says spring has sprung like 4 to 5 inches of heavy, wet, slushy snow. That's part of the wonder and excitement of this magical season. Well, all I was going to do this afternoon was go to the gym and workout. I guess 45-minutes with a snow shovel in my hand is just as good as 20 minutes on the rowing machine.

And as an added bonus I can keep a beer handy while I shovel. That's something they seem to frown upon at the health club.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." -Steven Wright

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"I used to be scared of dogs. Then I realized that dogs are just as scared of me as I am of them; they just show it differently. They show it by barking and snapping at me, and I show it by wetting myself." --Dakota Shepard

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One day a man approached Groucho Marx and he said, "Please insult my wife. She loves your work. It would really give her a thrill if you insulted her."

Groucho turned to the man and said, "Sir, you should be ashamed of yourself...To be married to a woman like that and not be able to think up your own insults!"

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My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master bedroom to save us from fumbling in the dark for the lamp. He cut through the drywall and found a stash of bottles and small boxes inside the wall.

"Honey!" he called excitedly. "You've got to come here and see what I found."

I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole that now led into the back of our medicine cabinet.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
On a cruise to Alaska, I saw my very first glacier in the magnificent Inside Passage. Excitedly, I asked the ship's officer what it was called.

"It's some dumb glacier," he replied.

Disappointed by his attitude, I bought a map to figure it out for myself. I calculated our location and found the name of the ice mass. It was called, just as he had said, "Sumdum Glacier."