Monday, April 25, 2016

Good morning crew,

The wife and I had our first cook out of the year this Saturday, because having fried pork cutlets, a sausage platter with sauerkraut, kartoffelpuffer and potato salad at the Hofbrauhaus Friday night wasn't enough meat.

But we kept it simple; only a dozen chicken wings and chicken quarters, a couple of strip steaks and a half dozen corn on the cob.

Well, it was just the two of us, you know.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
"I want to wish everyone a happy Tax Day. I guess it's only happy if you get money back. I hate that you have to put stamps on the envelope to send in. They can't just throw that in? They charge us $1.41 to have the honor of sending them half the money we earn this year." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"Harriet Tubman will be replacing Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. It's truly exciting to have a woman on there. Although, unfortunately, due to the wage gap, it is now worth $17." -Stephen Colbert

***
"Today is Earth Day. Environmentalists spent the day drawing attention to the Earth, while the Earth just spent the day checking Facebook to see which planets wished it a happy Earth Day." -Jimmy Fallon

***
Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library. "You know," said Melba, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use the word 'obey' anymore."

"Too bad, isn't it?" retorted Ken. "It used to lend a little humor to the occasion."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.

"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"