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Monday, December 31, 2012

Good morning crew,

Happy New Year, everybody! Tonight the champagne will flow like water so I thought I'd relate a little champagne trivia I came across recently. Maybe you can make your fellow party-goers feel stupid by whipping a little of this on them.

First...the subtle difference between sparkling wine and champagne. There is none. The only difference is that authentic 'champagne' comes from the Champagne region of France. But as far as alcohol content, production, etc... it's the exact same stuff.

Here's the important part. Do you want a champagne that is more dry or sweet? That all depends on your preference, of course. But after you've polished off a few dozen bottles and you know what you like... this is a list of the common names you will find on Champagne labels, from driest to sweetest:

*Extra Brut, Brut Sauvage, Ultra Brut, Brut Integral, Brut Zero *Brut *Extra Dry, Extra Sec *Sec *Demi-Sec *Doux

Brut is the most popular style, and often, the best grapes are reserved for Bruts.

And finally...Bottle size!: Because sparkling wine should be consumed when it is opened, size matters. Champagne comes in "splits" -- perfect for one or two -- all the way to the enormous Nebuchadnezzar (508 fluid ounces). If you want more volume than just a single bottle will afford you can get the showy magnums (nearly 51 ounces, or two bottles) Jeroboams (4 bottles) or even a Balthazar (16 bottles). Plus those huge empty bottles make great souvenirs!

You know, I'd love to be hosting a dinner party in some fancy restaurant and order a Nebuchadnezzar. I would be so cool.

Cheers!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems. Or as those people put it, 'I was afraid of that.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"They used to say a recession is when your neighbor lost his job, and a depression is when you lost yours, but now they say a recession is when Wall Street gets bailed out, and a depression is what you get thinking about it." -Jay Leno

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"In China, an animal trainer taught his monkeys Kung fu, and then they attacked him using his best kung fu moves.Luckily, they were no match for the parrot he'd taught to fire a gun." -Conan O'Brien

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The New Year's Eve party had turned into a marathon with numerous guests coming and going. At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily though no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement. He sat there happily for about an hour before a strange light dawned on his face.

"You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway. My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

My friend called a Venetian-blind repairman to come pick up a faulty blind. The next morning, while the family was at breakfast, the doorbell rang. My friend's wife went to the door, and the man outside said, "I'm here for the Venetian blind."

Excusing herself in a preoccupied way, the wife went to the kitchen, fished a couple dollars from the food money, pressed it into the repairman's hand, then gently closed the door and returned to the table.

"Somebody collecting," she explained, pouring the coffee.