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Tuesday, July 1, 2014Good morning crew,
Welcome to July, folks! Here in the Chicago area we welcomed the new month with just a monster storm. Last night it rained nearly four inches in about three hours. That may not sound like a lot, but all of that water has to go someplace, and apparently that someplace is my parking lot.
I had to wade through about six inches of water to get to my truck this morning.
Amazingly enough, despite peak winds of over 80 miles-per-hour, my block did not lose power. I know all that because the wife woke me up at ten-thirty last night to observe all of it.
Her sister the meteorologist (she's a nurse actually) called her up in a panic to tell her a tornado was heading our way. So discounting the fact that we live in a giant concrete and brick bunker, the wife woke me out of the first sound sleep I have had in days and dragged me downstairs to the ostensibly improved safety of the first floor to stare out of the front door and watch for twisters.
Nothing materialized, but I guess better safe than sorry.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. That's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail." --Jack Handey
***An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years. Recently, someone put up a handmade sign reading, "Scientists tell us that the sun will burn out in one and a half billion years. It is sad that this contractor will have to finish working in the dark."
***When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says..."If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER." So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
***One evening after dinner, a five-year-old son noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?"
His father told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"
The man had always given my son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.
Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. "Help, help!" yells one of the blondes. "Help us, help us!" yells the other.
"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.
"Good idea," said the other.
So the both started yelling, "Together! Together!"