Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Good morning crew,
I have begun making strategic preparations for Thanksgiving.
I have restricted myself to an apple and one peanut butter
and jelly sandwich a day.
With this diet I should be ready to eat at least three turkey
dinners by Thursday. I'm sure my family hates me.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
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"A thief broke into a house in Alaska and found $100,000 but
only took $20,000. Police are searching for a man with simple
dreams." -Conan O'Brien
***
"NASA launched a missile at the moon to determine if there's
water. Well, they found about 25 gallons ? 25 gallons! The
project cost $79 million. You thought bottled water was
expensive." -David Letterman
***
"A group of economists unveiled a new plan to reduce the
deficit by $6 trillion in the next 10 years. The first step
of the plan is to look at all our spending over the past
five years, determine what's unnecessary...and then ask
China for $6 trillion." -Jimmy Fallon
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Sitting in the first row of coach class during a lengthy
flight, my wife and I were able to hear a flight attendant
as he pushed a wine cart down the aisle in the first-class
section. "Would you care for chardonnay or burgundy?" he
asked the high-paying passengers.
A few minutes later the attendant opened the curtain between
the two sections, offered wine to one final first-class
patron, then wheeled the same cart forward to our aisle.
"Excuse me," he said, looking down at us, "would you care
for a glass of wine? We have white and red."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a
cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I married a small-
town Ohio girl. While I was in seminary school, I had a
temporary assignment at a church in a rural community. The
day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe
too hard.
With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my discourse:
"I never saw a cow until I met my wife."
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