Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Good morning crew,

Today is the solstice, the first day of summer, and ironically we get 85 degrees and thunderstorms. I guess I shouldn't knock the rain too much. They're suffering severe drought in Texas and South Florida, among other places. They say Lake Okeechobee is 20 inches below its normal level. So let it rain!

I was thinking about making a solstice T-shirt to wear today that said, "The Solstice Makes Me Hot" with an image if a big, grinning sun face, but I didn't want to drop the coin on a brand new, plain yellow T-shirt that I was only going to wear once.

But it would have been a cool T-shirt.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


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"According to a new report, only 12 percent of American high school students can pass a basic history test. That's the lowest percentage since our country was founded in 1922." -Jay Leno

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"Alabama just passed a tough immigration law that requires schools to find out if students are in the country illegally. Fortunately, schools know what to look for when identifying foreign students: high test scores." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Mitt Romney is the front runner at this point, mostly because he looks like the guy they would cast as president in a disaster movie." -Jimmy Kimmel

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My wife cannot ride in a car without telling whoever is driving what to do, when to do it, etc. She is, bar none, the worst back seat driver in the world. I have long thought this, though she would deny it. She claimed she seldom, if ever made comments about my driving. I, of course, claimed the opposite. Now I have proof.

The other day we were headed for the mall and my daughter piped up, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
On vacation, a man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a snack at the restaurant, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.

She lies down on the bed... just then, a train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. But just a few minutes later a train again shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager who says he'll be right up.

The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife.

Just then the husband walks in. He takes one look at the manager lying in bed with his wife and yells, "Hey! What are you doing in here!?"

The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"