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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Good morning crew,

It has been three days since the partying ended and I'm
still not recovered. Maybe it is a symptom of not being
a kid anymore. In college I could party for an entire
semester at a stretch...and I still graduated with a
solid C- average. Now a mere nine days of indulgence has
me burned out. But I must admit it was fun.

The highlight of the week was certainly New Year's Eve.
You see, the girlfriend is (or was) under the illusion
that I cannot plan anything further out than lunch.

So all the way back in November I made reservations for
a New Year's Eve Lake Michigan dinner cruise. Mostly out
of spite.

Docked at Navy Pier are a couple of what can best be
described as miniature cruise ships, and they motor up
and down the Chicago shoreline for four-hour lunch and
dinner cruises.

They do a lot of business in the summer, as you can
imagine, but as long as the lake isn't ice-locked they
conduct insanely popular New Year's Eve cruises with an
open bar and dancing. There is even a fireworks display
over the lake just after midnight.

When New Year's Eve eventually rolled around the girl-
friend adopted an air of resignation when I told her
I wanted to go downtown. She pictured us waiting two
and a half hours to get a table next to the bathrooms
at some over-priced restaurant (like we've done before,
I guess I should admit in all fairness).

Once we got in the truck and I told her we were going
to Navy Pier she thought I had officially lost my mind.
On its slowest day Navy Pier is crowded, but on NYE we
should have expected it to be a madhouse. And it was.

After finding parking only six blocks away from the pier,
we were elbowing our way through a solid phalanx of semi-
inebriated humanity when she asked me for about the tenth
time if I didn't want to just turn around and head back
to the suburbs. That's when we finally reached the ticket
booth.

It did feel pretty swank walking up to the only place on
the entire pier that didn't have a line of fifty people
standing in front of it and casually dropping my name to
the attendant.

The GF gave me an incredulous look and said, "No way!" I
palmed the tickets, gratuitously adjusted my tie and in
true James Band fashion replied, "Way."

As an added little bonus I also recruited a couple of her
friends to do the cruise with us. When we got on board
and she found them waiting at our table she was finally
duly impressed.

The food was excellent, the service was good and the booze
was abundant. So we all had a very fun time cruising the
lake and jumping up and down on the dance floor like
idiots. Plus, we almost crashed into the breakwater which
added a little extra excitement to the whole affair. It
would have been just like the movie 'Titanic', except I'm
not as effeminate at Leo DiCaprio.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

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***

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"Police in the U.K. rented a bouncy castle to cushion the
fall when a man threatened to jump off of a building. That
must have been an interesting talk. 'Sir, do not jump. But
if you do, please take your shoes off, and no rough-housing
once you're in there.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***

"It's been raining so much in Los Angeles that the Chia Pet
I threw in the garbage is now blocking my entire driveway."
-Jay Leno

***

"Resolutions just set you up for failure. My resolution last
year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos
weekos." -Craig Ferguson


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The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water
mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on,
you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of
fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and
cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered
corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John,
"How come you aren't married?"

John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."

George: "So what are you looking for?"

John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and
house keeper, she's got to know how to handle money, have
a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got to
have money, and a nice big house wouldn't hurt either."

George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"

John: "Oh, it's okay, if she is crazy."

____________________________________________________________

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