Powered By

Monday, November 21, 2016

Good morning crew,

I can hardly believe it, but Thanksgiving managed to sneak up on me again. It's not like it's a surprise. It's the same day every year and it's marked with a big, red splotch on my calendar, but I must have completely blocked it out of my conscious perception.

Last night the wife asked me if I have just Thursday off or both Thursday and Friday.

"Why would I have Thursday off?" I asked her.

"Thanksgiving?" she said, as if I were just a bit slow.

So the next few days are going to be busy as I am completely unprepared to take any time off. That's what I get for living in the moment.

Laugh it up,


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

"Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, 'I'm eager to discuss the issues facing our nation.' While Biden said, 'If you tell the waiter it's your birthday, you get a free piece of cake.'" -Jimmy Fallon


"A woman has been charged with filing a false police report after posting that she had been kidnapped on Facebook. People grew suspicious when the woman 'liked' her own kidnapping." -Conan O'Brien


"Nissan is now offering a limited-edition version of its Rogue SUV to promote the new movie 'Star Wars: Rogue One' featuring a collectible helmet, because nothing says 'great car' like a complimentary helmet. -Seth Meyers


When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us.

"So what changed your mind?" I asked him.

"I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!'"

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A man goes into the home improvement store and says, "I'd like to order 5,000 finishing bricks."

"Certainly," says the salesman, "Are they for a garage?"

"No," says the man; "They're for a Bar-B-Q."

"Why do you need so many bricks for a bar-b-q?" asks the salesman.

"Well," says the man, "we live in a 3rd floor flat."

Top Viewed Issues