Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Good morning crew,

While the party Saturday night was an overall success, the baptism Sunday afternoon did not go off so well. Okay, maybe that might not be the best way to put it. From what I hear the baptism went off without a hitch. I wouldn't know since I wasn't there.

Old Mason made me promise to be at the church before two-thirty and toward that end I determined to leave by one. Normally it takes me between fifty minutes and an hour to get from my apartment to Mason's house in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago.

Since this event was a little more important than a night of drinking Hofbrau at the Uberstein I made it a point to leave early for once. The girlfriend and I actually walked out of the apartment at five-to-one, giving us what I thought was plenty of time. I even brought a book because I was sure we were going to be sitting around in the church for a half hour before the ceremony started.

There it was, a sunny Sunday afternoon; no baseball games, football games, fests or conventions in town, and as soon as we got on the Dan Ryan Expressway, in fact even before we got on the Dan Ryan, traffic ground to a halt.

We crawled along at 4 to 5 miles-per-hour for 45 minutes. About ten minutes before the baptism was about to start I finally called Mason and told him I wasn't going to make it.

He was philosophical about it. He said, "Did you bring a card with a check?"

I said, "Yes."

And he said, "Then I guess I'll still be seeing you at the party."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Ford is installing a new feature in their cars which reads text messages out loud to the driver. Isn't that cool? Yeah, this amazing new feature is called a 'passenger.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"One town in Alaska is called Deadhorse. Another one is called ? and I'm not making this up ? Manley hot springs. Which is also the name of a club here in West Hollywood." -Craig Ferguson

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"Because of a printing error, a billion new $100 bills have to be destroyed. They're going to burn $100 billion dollars ? just like they did with the last stimulus." -Jay Leno

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Every morning, I do a mad dash to drop off my son Tyler at day care so I can get to work on time. My impatience hit home one morning when he piped up from the back of the car, "Our car is really fast and everyone else's is slow because they're all idiots, right, Mom?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When it comes to wine I'm very particular about what I buy. There are two things I look for before making my selection.

First, the word "Wine" must appear somewhere on the label. This is something I insist on.

Second, I look for a sign nearby that says "On Sale."

Follow these two rules and you won't go far wrong.