Friday, January 23, 2015

Good morning crew,

How's this for luck? A Massachusetts man who bought a pair of lottery tickets at a grocery store just to break a $100 bill for lunch has ended up winning $10 million.

The last time I bought ten dollars worth of instant tickets (5 $2 tickets with an odds of winning of 1 in 4.4) I won zero dollars. But that's my luck. Maybe my problem is that I am trying to win. This slob in Massachusetts was just looking to make some change.

That's it, I'm off to the grocery store.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new study, people who live near trees are richer, smarter, and healthier - and people who live in trees make more cookies." -Seth Meyers

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"New York's JFK Airport has plans to open the world's first airport terminal for animals next year. Not to be outdone, LaGuardia has announced plans to finally open a terminal for humans." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat." -Conan O'Brien

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A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames.

There were no injuries.

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"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man traveling in her compartment. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied.

"Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell ball markers.

The golf pro says they do, and they are $1.00.

The guy gives the golf pro a dollar...

The golf pro opens the register, puts the dollar in and hands him a quarter.