Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Good morning crew,

Yesterday was my anniversary. Wedding anniversary, specifically. And I got a real lesson in buying flowers. Typically I'm not a big flower-buying person, but I'll spring for them on the special occasions like; birthdays, anniversaries...well, mostly birthdays and anniversaries.

Usually I will order them over the phone and have them delivered (because I'm more lazy than I am cheap), but yesterday I wanted to pick them personally so they would be waiting for the wife when she got home from work.

Now to save time (because I only have an hour in between leaving the office and going to the taekwondo school to teach) I went to the florist at noon to order the flowers.

I told the woman there what they were for and that I didn't want to spend any more than 30 dollars (because I'm cheap), and that I was on a tight time schedule.

I said, "I'll be back for the flowers at 3:05, maybe 3:10 at the latest."

She said, "No problem."

Three hours later, at about 3:03, I came squealing up to the florist and burst through the front door to find the place empty. A quick search revealed the florist standing just outside the back door having a smoke.

She looked at me, looked at her watch, and said, "You're early."

So I paced the floor for five minutes while she plied her trade of laying flowers next to each other on a piece of tissue paper.

With three hours notice and a completely empty store, she had managed to accomplish exactly nothing. And when she did finally get the bouquet together she charged me $33.50 for it. So she apparently took the 'not going over 30 bucks' request as more of a suggestion.

And what did I get for my $33.50? Four roses, a couple carnations and some baby's breath (and the tissue paper, of course).

That's customer service for you.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"This weekend in Los Angeles, people got to meet famous cats from the Internet at the first-ever CatCon. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it because I'm allergic to sad people." -Conan O'Brien

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"Chipotle has announced plans to provide paid vacation, tuition, reimbursement, and sick days for hourly workers, which is great. But now if you want guacamole, it's $400." -Seth Meyers

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"Yahoo! announced last week that after eight years of operation it's shutting down Yahoo! Maps. Also announced this week - there's something called Yahoo! Maps." -Jimmy Fallon

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I have my changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
As Reynoldo lit the votive candle at the grotto for San Jose de los Platanos and prayed for the healthy delivery of his first child, he heard a disembodied voice say, "Your daughter will be 17 inches long," to which Reynoldo replied,

"Do you know the weight too, San Jose?"