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Monday, December 1, 2014Good morning crew,
Welcome to December, folks. I like it when months start on a Monday. Somehow they feel more even.
I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. I did. The wife and I were lucky enough to get an invitation to my brother Nino's house where his wife Marianne had invested a seven hour day preparing a succulent, 20-pound turkey with stuffing, buttery mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts, sweet potato casserole, green beans and fresh-baked rolls, all topped with home-made turkey gravy.
It was such a feast I didn't even get around to sampling all of the dishes.
That ended up being a good thing, because toward the end of the night I felt a tug of familial guilt at spending the entire day with Nino and Marianne while my other brother Paul was a scant 25-minute drive away, sequestered with his own family. So I determined to swing by there on the way home. Thanksgiving is about family after all.
As with any idea nurtured in concentrated solution of alcoholic optimism, a quick stop to say 'Hello' and 'Happy Thanksgiving' turned into a major expedition when I talked Nino and Marianne into coming with.
There we were, the four of us banging on poor Paul's door practically at the end of the night while his family was sitting around the house relaxing and digesting. They all had to get up, probably change back out of their pajamas, and sit around the kitchen table playing host while we began going through their leftovers.
It didn't start that way, of course. You always offer guests something to eat, even if you don't mean it, and as a guest you have to take a sociable bite or two, strictly out of politeness.
By ten o'clock we had the cold turkey and stuffing out on the table and Paul's wife Margaret was busy warming up the mashed potatoes and gravy while we plowed through several beers and made late night telephone calls to relatives in different time zones.
It turned into quite a party.
Well, that's what he gets for giving me an open invitation to 'stop by any time.'
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire." --George E. Woodberry
***"I wish I were telepathic. Not just to read people's minds, which would be cool, but to cut down on my cell phone bill." -Paul Wiley
***"When we got married we registered at Bloomingdale's because you can return everything for cash. And I figure each place setting can keep me in beer money for a month." -Gary Barkin
***As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel.
One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to drive for 30 minutes. When the first student completed his time, I asked him to change places with one of the others.
Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, "Should I stop the car first?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*"Sally," asked Linda one day, "what would you do if you caught another woman fooling around with your husband?"
"With George?" Sally thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."