Friday, January 1, 2016

Good morning crew,

Welcome to a new year, folks. We made it. The shopping is over. The partying is over. The craziness is over. Now we get to enjoy at least a couple months of peace and quiet. I'll take what I can get.

But considering the fiasco Christmas turned out to be this (or last, I should say) year, I think I had better start thinking about Valentine's Day now.

I'll fill you in on all the holiday adventures next week.

Happy New Year!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Scientists in Australia have created a pineapple that tastes like a coconut. Took them long enough." -Jimmy Fallon

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"According to a new survey that just came out, the issue most on the minds of college students is whether they'll be able to find a job when they graduate. Experts say it's silly for college students to worry about whether or not they'll be able to find a job because the answer is no." -Conan O'Brien

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"The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn distributor was found with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says it's all a misunderstanding - those ARE the ingredients." -Seth Meyers

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Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to."

Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Congratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!"

Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, do I still have to go to Confession?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is the vacuum on or off?"