Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Good morning crew,

We are enjoying another polar vortex here in the Chicagoland area, driving temperatures down into the low 70s. Not that I am enjoying any of it sitting here in the office. But I'll be sleeping with the windows open tonight. That will make for some good sleeping. The weather so rarely cooperates with my comfort I have to take advantage of it when I can.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The oldest living person in the United States is 116 years old. People always pester the old people. They asked her, 'How did you get so old? What's your secret?' And the woman said, 'Well, I was born a really long time ago.'" -Dave Letterman

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"The baseball team in Philadelphia is the Phillies. I always thought that was kind of a lazy name. It's like calling a team the New York Yorkies or the Atlanta Ta-Ta's." -Craig Ferguson

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"This summer New Yorkers will be able to order delivery food to sunbathing spots in Central Park. Although if you have to order delivery to the place where you're sunbathing, you probably shouldn't be sunbathing." -Seth Meyers

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A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy to focus more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

The son replied, "But Dad, when Lincoln was your age, he was President of The United States!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for way back in 1999."

"You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.

"No," he replies, "a 1999 Cadillac."