Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Good morning crew,

After eating about 4,000 calories worth of meat and animal fat over the weekend, the wife and I wanted to lighten up our diet a little bit. So tonight she decided she wants to make a salad.

Taco salad.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A federal judge ruled yesterday that California's version of the death penalty is unconstitutional. Apparently the difference is California's version has avocado on it." -Seth Meyers

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"Netflix is testing a new feature that will allow you to hide what you've been watching. You just click the button and it says, I want to stay married." -Conan O'Brien

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"A JetBlue pilot was arrested this week and charged with heroin possession. Passengers could tell something was up when, during their flight, he announced, 'To your left you'll see the Grand Canyon, and to your right you'll see a fire-breathing dragon.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs...the tallest ones, anyway.