Monday, December 14, 2015

Good morning crew,

So we actually got a Christmas tree up and decorated this weekend with surprisingly little drama.

I had a nice, little 4-footer picked out from the $40 and under rack, but the wife found a 6-footer that she loved and no amount of arguing on my part could dissuade her.

As it turned out, she made the right choice. Not only does the tree just barely fit in the living room (filling up the space nicely), we also ended up having just enough lights and ornaments to fill it up.

Of course, that last bit is a matter of opinion. Personally I think it could use a few more ornaments, but it's so hard to find really nice ones.

We even managed to get our few outside decorations up. It's a little pathetic. We only have enough twinkle lights to cover one bush, plus two illuminated Christmas dogs which are really hard to even see unless you are just about standing on top of them. But for all intents and purposes, our decorating is done.

That doesn't mean the wife won't find some other decorations she will somehow justify buying over the next couple of weeks, but apparently what I don't know won't hurt me.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
"IHOP has removed soda from their kids' menus. A spokesperson for IHOP said, 'Children's health is our first priority,' and then he laughed for four hours." -Conan O'Brien

***
"A new study found that running for two minutes is just as good for you as working out for 90 minutes. That doesn't sound like a study it sounds like something a chubby guy says after being on the treadmill for two minutes." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"There's a holiday gift giving trend that's supposedly on the rise this year called self-gifting, meaning it's OK to buy a gift for yourself. But buying a gift and wrapping it for yourself, that's just pathetic." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions.

"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?"

The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two."

"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My brother Scott brought over a photo album of his camping trip. One picture showed a brown bear helping itself to his food. "What kind of bear is that?" I asked.

"It's called a Kodiak," Scott replied.

"Oh, yeah?" my husband Keith shot back. "And I suppose those white ones in the Arctic are called Polaroids."