Monday, September 22, 2014

Good morning crew,

After the herculean effort it took for two people to load the entire contents of that condo onto a truck in one day, unloading it was relatively easy, thank God.

The first advantage was that there were not 28 stairs and three turns to navigate.

The second advantage was that I was able to back the moving truck right up to the garage of the house, reducing the distance I had to carry everything down to about 6 feet.

The third advantage was that I did not have to fit everything together like a giant jigsaw puzzle in order to get it to fit.

With all of this working for us the wife and I were able to unload the truck in about three hours (versus 13 hours to load it).

Once again it was all us, because the few people who agreed to come by and help were only available after work - which for most people is after 5. The wife and I were finished by 4. The only person who managed to show up early enough to contribute was my brother Nino who carried one box off the truck and spent the rest of his time at the house drinking beer.

Of course, I couldn't our first official visitor to the house drink alone so I had to join him. Besides, by that time the wife was doing pretty well on her own.

But unloading a truck into a garage isn't the same as moving in. The house was still empty and we ended our first day sleeping on the floor. But, at least it was done.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"In New York City today, the 69th version of the United Nations General Assembly was called to order. It's always fun when people who can't stand each other come together, make speeches, and glare at each other in silent hatred, knowing they won't have to see each other for a whole year. It's like international Thanksgiving." -Craig Ferguson

***
"Matt Damon is planning to shoot a fourth 'Bourne Identity' movie. It tells the story of an actor who gradually remembers he has four kids to send to college." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Royal Caribbean cruises will soon be adding robotic bartenders that can shake drinks, cut limes, and precisely measure alcohol. While Carnival Cruises announced they will soon be adding plumbing." -Seth Meyers

***
After the pastor finished his sermon, he stayed at the doors and shook the people's hands as they went by, making sure to give a smile and a kind word to each one.

By the time he finished, most of the people milling around in the church lobby had left except for a few. The pastor noticed in particular one elderly woman who was sitting on one of the hallway plush benches, nearly in tears, rocking back and forth. Concerned, the pastor walked over to her and heard her emit the words, "How long, Lord? How long?"

Touched, he laid a hand on the white head. "Ma'am, God has heard you. I am sure that he will come through for you," he said soothingly. She looked up at him with a small smile and thanked him.

Feeling that he had done a very good deed, he turned and was about to walk out the doors when one of the bathroom doors opened and someone came out.

The pastor definitely had a feeling of chagrin when the old woman yelled, "Praise the Lord!" and ran inside.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man walks into a bar with a little salamander-looking creature in his hand. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

"His name is Tiny," replies the man.

"Why do you call him that?" asks the bartender.

"Because he's my newt!"