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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Good morning crew,

The home-buying carnival goes on. The last guy who looked at the condo made an insultingly low-ball bid, so I countered, and he countered my counter, and so on. At the end we were negotiating over changes in the contract that would have amounted to about a 30 dollar difference, so I finally told the realtor that I didn't care anymore and to give him whatever he wants.

So now we start the home-buying portion of the nightmare all over again. The wife and I actually saw a new house (new to us anyway) the other day that we both really like, but that is out of our price range. The realtor told us we should put in a bid and see what kind of deal we could negotiate.

I don't know for sure, but somehow I am getting the feeling that I am going to end up being the sucker in all of these transactions.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new report, 81 percent of people would cheat on their partner if there were no consequences, while 19 percent of people are pretty sure this is a test." -Seth Meyers

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"I just read about this student at MIT who's created a new robot that can play Connect Four. Yes, an emotionless machine that can occasionally sit down and play a board game with you, or as I called that growing up - Dad." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A professor from U.C. Berkeley said we are on track for having the worst drought in 500 years. You can tell this drought is getting really bad. Today at lunch, my waiter asked if I wanted a glass of water or a future for my children. I took the water." -Conan O'Brien

***

While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

"What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?"

The guide replied: "One."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

As a jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.

"Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth 50,000 years ago at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."

The lady sitting next to me exclaimed: "Wow, look! It just missed the highway!"