Friday, June 26, 2015

Good morning crew,

My brother Nino acquired some tickets to a food and beer event down town tomorrow called The Dog Dayz of Summer. It is sponsored by a restaurant called Hot Doug's, and with a name like that you can imagine the menu will be heavy on items like hot dogs and sausages (and stupid puns).

Normally I would not be willing to drive to the north side of Chicago for a couple of hot dogs and Polish sausages, but the co-sponsor of the event is Goose Island Brewery who will not only be providing the beer but also the venue, and it is hard to say no to Goose Island's diverse variety of craft beers practically fresh out of the brewing vat.

From there I get to drive through the city of Chicago and across half the state of Indiana to attend a party for my goddaughter Isabel who is graduating 8th grade.

I'm sure her parents will appreciate me showing up to a party full of 14 and 15-year old girls after having spent the afternoon drinking beer. Fortunately the wife will be coming along on these adventures, and since she will be careful of her consumption I don't have to worry about being abstemious.

There should be at least one person there willing to have fun.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Emerson College officials said that starting in 2016 they will offer students the opportunity to major in comedy. Or, you can just take your tuition money and burn it in front of your parents." -Seth Meyers

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"According to a new study, 88 percent of Facebook users have admitted to spending some time looking at their ex's profile. While the other 12 percent have admitted to spending ALL of their time looking at their ex's profile." -Jimmy Fallon

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"According to a new survey that just came out, the issue most on the minds of college students is whether they'll be able to find a job when they graduate. Experts say it's silly for college students to worry about whether or not they'll be able to find a job - because the answer is no." -Conan O'Brien

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Dad is from the old school, he always kept a rather large wad of what he liked to call 'emergency cash' in his underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe--a can of spray paint with a false bottom-so he could keep his money somewhat less obviously in this basement workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "he put his money in it the same day."

"No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!" I gloated.

"They won't have to," my mom replied. "He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. and Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."