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Clean Laffs - Some women just can't take a joke.
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Wednesday, September 5, 2016
Good morning crew,
I told the wife about a story I read online the other day.
A scientist and a chef teamed up to test whether or not lobsters can feel pain. Apparently, the hardest part is getting a lobster to sit still long enough to watch 'The Notebook.'
I don't think she appreciated my little jab at one of her favorite movies.
Laugh it up,
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"I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito." -Mitch Hedberg
"Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?" --Lisa Claymen
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." --Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'"
"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him." She wasn't selected for the jury.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
My plumber has a stupid sense of humor.
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