GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com

Wednesday, September 5, 2016

Good morning crew,

I told the wife about a story I read online the other day.

A scientist and a chef teamed up to test whether or not lobsters can feel pain. Apparently, the hardest part is getting a lobster to sit still long enough to watch 'The Notebook.'

I don't think she appreciated my little jab at one of her favorite movies.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives




"I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito." -Mitch Hedberg

***

"Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?" --Lisa Claymen

***

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." --Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

***

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'"

"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him." She wasn't selected for the jury.




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.

My plumber has a stupid sense of humor.

Top Viewed Issues