Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Good morning crew,

The only other exciting thing I did this weekend was see the new Star Trek movie; 'Star Trek Into Darkness'. As a big Star Trek fan for the last several decades I can say that I enjoyed the hell out of it, but I think even someone who does not already know what Starfleet's Prime Directive is will enjoy it for being an exciting science fiction flick with awesome special effects.

I had several small problems with the film, a couple of which deal with plot points so I won't go into them in case you are planning to see the movie, but the rest of the issues had to do with movie physics and just ridiculous, illogical assumptions the movie makes.

For example; I won't ruin the movie for anyone by telling you that in one scene the Enterprise is hiding on an alien planet submerged in one of its oceans. Now what makes any thinking person believe that a spacecraft can double as a submarine? Why does the plot have to involve a 600-foot spacecraft underwater? It doesn't.

Anyway, I was voicing these frustrations to the wife who was sitting next to me, trying desperately to ignore me.

After I hissed, "Oh, my God, can you believe this?" for the third time, she hissed back at me, "I can't believe that I can't watch a movie without a running commentary."

Some people. Touchy, touchy.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!

***
"A recent study found that cheese is healthier to eat than butter. In response, Americans were like, 'Just to be safe, I better eat both.'" -Jimmy Fallon

***
"According to a new survey, 42 percent of Americans have an unfavorable view of hipsters. When they heard this, hipsters said, 'Big deal, we had an unfavorable view of ourselves way before you.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
"According to a survey by nationwide mutual insurance, 2 percent of people actually shave while they're driving. They shave! How many guys would like to be in the car with those women?" --Jay Leno

***
Conflicting Proverbs

Actions speak louder than words.
The pen is mightier than the sword.

Look before you leap.
He who hesitates is lost.

Many hands make light work.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.

A silent man is a wise one.
A man without words is a man without thoughts.

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Clothes make the man.
Don't judge a book by its cover.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Better safe than sorry.

The bigger, the better.
The best things come in small packages.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Out of sight, out of mind.

What will be, will be.
Life is what you make it.

Cross your bridges when you come to them.
Forewarned is forearmed.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
One man's meat is another man's poison.

With age comes wisdom.
Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come all wise sayings.

The more, the merrier.
Two's company; three's a crowd


It's no wonder we're all confused.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The brilliant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver against claims that his negligence had caused injury to a young man's arm:

"Will you please show us how high you can lift your arm now?" Smith asked the plaintiff.

The young man obediently raised his arm to shoulder level, his face contorted with apparent pain.

"Thank you," said Smith. "And now, please, will you show us how high you could lift it before the accident?"

The man's arm shot above his head.