Friday, May 29, 2015

Good morning crew,

"I'm so looking forward to spending some nice, quiet, alone time together this weekend," the wife said to me last night.

I shook my head sadly at her.

"What?" she asked exasperatedly. "What do we have to do?"

"Well, I have to go to promotion testing at the school Saturday morning. Saturday afternoon I promised Val I would help him frame his garage roof...which I thought you were going to go over and help with too. And then Sunday we really need to do some shopping, oh, and I promised my sister she could finally stop by the house, so we need to figure out something to do for a late lunch-type of thing for her and her husband.

"We'll have an hour or two alone together Sunday night," I said, trying to sound optimistic.

She sighed, "We won't get bored, I guess."

"Yeah," I agreed, "We're married. The last thing we want is to spend too much time together."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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***
Rev up your engines and tell the crab grass to look out. The 12th annual "Mow Down Show Down Lawn Mower Campionship" was held in Avon Park, Florida earlier this year, bringing out the best and fastest in Lawnmower racing. It also brought out some colorful names. Entries included: Weedy Gonzales, Blading Saddles, Turfinator, Sodzilla and Mr. Mowjangles.

***
A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"

Shouting back, the woman replies,

"For crying out loud, Ed, I've been telling you for the last half hour...I'll be ready in a minute!"

***
Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging for some change. I pulled out 8 cents and gave it to her. She stood there with $2 and 8 cents. She looked bewildered, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.

I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she burst into tears.

The incident got me thinking about how our kids were learning math in school.... (or not).

Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set of "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C," the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M." Answer this question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers)

Teaching Math In The 2000s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Goldman Sachs determine that his profit margin is $60?


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; "Do you think there is too much sex in movies?"

"I don't know," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing."