Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Good morning crew,

I just read that 28 percent of U.S. homeowners with mortgages
owed more than their properties were worth as property values
continue to fall in the first quarter.

In fact, over the past 12 months home prices have slumped 8.2
percent.

However, I believe in the strategy proposed by World War I
French general Ferdinand Foch who said in the middle of a
battle, "My center is giving way, my right is in retreat;
situation excellent. I shall attack."

Therefore I have put the condo on the market. Or at least
the realtor will right after I meet with her on Friday.

Who knows, maybe just like General Foch, I can pull a success
out of certain defeat.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new sleep study suggested that insomnia is linked to
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-Jay Leno

***

"It's not always good to give your child a trendy name. I
still haven't been forgiven by my 18-year-old son Sir
Mix-a-Lot." -Craig Ferguson

***

"A recent study found that only 7 percent of 8th graders
can correctly name the three branches of government. That's
ridiculous ? everybody knows it's the legislative, the
executive, and..." -Jimmy Fallon


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My wife and I were having a very hypothetical discussion:
In the unlikely event that Hollywood made a movie based on
our lives, we wondered what stars would play us.

"Who would you pick to portray you?" she asked me.

I thought about it for a minute, then answered, "George
Clooney."

"In that case," she said, "I'll play myself."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

A man went into the pet shop, "I am playing Long John Silver
in the local amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure
Island and need a parrot to sit on my shoulder," he said.

"I don't have any parrots at the moment, but you wouldn't
want a real parrot for that. It would squawk in all the
wrong places, poop on your shoulder and generally be a
nuisance. What you need is a stuffed parrot. Just as
realistic and easily controlled."

"I'm not sure a stuffed parrot would be okay," said the
customer. "I do want this performance to be as realistic
as possible."

"I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine," said the pet
shop owner. "I have one at home. I'll bring it in and if
you come back on Thursday you can have it."

"Sorry," said the customer, "I can't make it on Thursday.
That's the day I'm having my leg cut off."

____________________________________________________________

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