Thursday, November 17, 2011

Good morning crew,

Nine years. It was the longest relationship I have ever had. And now it's over. I can hardly believe it. It happened last night after about a half hour conversation.

It was another guy, of course. He came in, put his hands all over her and couldn't resist her, just like I had all those years ago.

Then he wrote me a check.

And just like that the motorcycle was sold. I am really amazed at how quickly it all went. I advertised it online just last week. I emailed back and forth with a few people, and the very first person to come out and take a look at it bought it, and for what I asked for it, too.

If only the condo moved like that! Maybe I should have bought a thousand motorcycles ten years ago instead of a condo.

So he is coming to pick the bike up on Saturday. That gives me two more days with it. Two days.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A man in Florida was busted for stealing a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber from a record store. He's facing a pretty severe punishment: His friends finding out." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Archeologists in Egypt now say it's not true that the pyramids were built by slaves. They say the pyramids were built by paid workers. But you know how they financed it? A pyramid scheme." -Jay Leno

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"Starbucks announced plans to open a line of juice bars. They would have done this years ago but it took them a while to figure out how to burn orange juice." -Conan O'Brien

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When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers they always have on display near the checkout counter.

During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife.

"How often do you do that?" one asked.

Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Flashlights used by my National Guard unit can withstand almost anything. And to prove it, they come with a lifetime warranty.

Nevertheless, nothing is indestructible, which is why the warranty also cautions, "Void with shark bites, bear attacks and children under the age of five."