Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Good morning crew,

The only thing that still reeked like smoke after my post-cookout cleaning blitz last weekend was the dog.

"You need to bathe this mutt," I complained to the wife the other night. "She smells like hickory smoke and barbecue chicken."

"You're the one who let her out all night," she answered. "Why don't YOU give her a bath."

"Hey, I tried to hose her down when I was washing the soot and ash off the patio, but the little monster's too fast. But if you still want me to bathe her she's going in the washing machine. It's up to you."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
"It was reported that the Republican candidates said Hillary Clinton's name more than 40 times during the debate. Though usually you only have to say it three times before she appears." -Seth Meyers

***
"A new study found that government employees are the happiest workers. The study was not conducted at the DMV." -Conan O'Brien

***
"Researchers in Japan are working on a new drug that could treat gambling addiction. But I'll bet you 2-to-1 it doesn't work." -Jimmy Fallon

***
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"

"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."

"Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can't post

Thou Shalt Not Steal,
Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,
and Thou Shall Not Lie

in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.