Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Good morning crew,
My ambitions have become really pedestrian lately.
When I got home from work the other day I was suddenly struck by the number of dandelions that have sprung up in the yard recently. It seems like they appeared over night.
So digging among my meager assortment of tools I produced a screwdriver and spent 30 or 40 frustrating minutes digging little holes in the lawn.
Later that night while eating dinner with the wife I commented, "You know what I could really use?"
"A new Xbox," she offered.
"No."
"A new laptop?" she tried again.
"No! I need to get a weed puller."
"What's a weed puller?" she asked.
"It's like a long screw driver except it's got a forked end so you can pop weeds out of the grass by the root."
"Oh. I really thought you were going to tell me you want to buy a motorcycle or something."
"Not hardly," I said. "We can barely afford the weed puller."
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"In Pennsylvania, a 100-year-old woman has broken the world record for the 100-yard dash in her age group. She won with the record-setting time of '"Wednesday.'" -Conan O'Brien
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"The parents of a baby who was recently born on a Jetstar plane have announced that they are naming him after the airline. Baby Jetstar is now at home joining his older sister, Megabus." -Seth Meyers
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"May is finally here! Yep, it's that special time of the year when the Earth puts the weather on 'Random Shuffle.'" -Jimmy Fallon
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My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife who was trying to feed her said to me, "Straighten her up."
I looked at my daughter and said, "What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It's time to grow up and take some responsibility."
My wife hasn't asked me to help with her since.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. "Start with a capital S, then 123," she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, "I really don't know what's so difficult about typing 'Start123.'"