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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Good morning crew,
I have been high for the last two days. I stained and water
proofed some woodwork in the apartment on Sunday and the
fumes have been keeping me in a mildly hallucinogenic state.
I think I'm starting to come down though, because the monster
in my broom closet wasn't there this morning.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We now have a Forum. You can post comments on this and
recent issues at... http://cleanlaffs.gophercentral.com
***
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***
"There's a new technique that lets doctors perform kidney
transplants in 45 minutes. Because when you're getting a
kidney transplant, your main concern is always, 'How long
is this gonna take? Can you do it in less than an hour?'"
-Jimmy Fallon
***
"An Irish airline has announced that it will charge $1.50 to
use the toilet on the airplane. A lot of people will find a
whole new use for the airsick bag." -Jay Leno
***
"KFC restaurants have unveiled the 'Double Down,' which is
two slabs of fried chicken with bacon in the middle. Why
not? We all have free health insurance." -Craig Ferguson
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Travel Ready 37 pc First Aid Kit
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List Price: $3.99
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You'll love the cool plastic storage case that you can restock
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INCLUDES:
- Ten (10) Plastic Bandages (3/4" x 3")
- Ten (10) Plastic Bandages (3/8" x 1 1/2")
- Two (2) Gauze Pads (2" x 2" - two per pack)
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------------------------------------------------------------
The brillant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver
against claims that his negligence had caused injury to a
young man's arm:
"Will you please show us how high you can lift your arm now?"
Smith asked the plaintiff.
The young man obediently raised his arm to shoulder level,
his face contorted with apparent pain.
"Thank you," said Smith. "And now, please, will you show us
how high you could lift it before the accident?"
The man's arm shot above his head.
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an
open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next
to it if the seat is taken.
"No," he replies. "I used to take my wife to all the games,
but ever since she passed away, I come alone."
"Why don't you invite a friend?"
"I can't. They're all at the funeral."
____________________________________________________________
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