Friday, April 1, 2016

Good morning crew,

Promotion testing at the taekwondo school this weekend. While my daily efforts at the school cannot be classified at 'work', technically I am a student, there are compensations. Testing days, on the other hand, comes as close to pro bono as makes no difference.

After spending what is usually a 4 or 5 hour day herding, cajoling and managing 40 or 50 little kids (not to mention dealing with their parents), the master will usually slip me an envelope with a 20 in it.

That comes out to about $4 an hour. Significantly less than I would earn spending my Saturday flipping burgers or buffing fenders at the car wash.

And lest I get any ideas about blowing my fortune on entertainment or some other frivolity, the check engine light in the truck came on earlier this week. So I'll be dropping that off Saturday morning.

But after the $3,500 I spent repairing the truck last year I'm sure this problem will be minor. Maybe, if I'm lucky, the truck will mysteriously explode.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Baby names based on the characters from 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' are becoming very popular. I feel like if you're naming your baby after a science fiction movie character, maybe you're not ready to have a baby." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"Video was released this weekend of a man setting a new world record by eating 200 Peeps in 14 minutes. Unfortunately, the record was for 'largest coffin.'" -Seth Meyers

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"A man used a fake bomb to hijack an EgyptAir flight. Here's the crazy part -- it was all an attempt to deliver a love letter to his ex-wife who he was trying to win back. So relax, everyone. It's not terrorism, just good old stalking and harassment." -James Corden

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It just dawned on me why Mayberry from 'The Andy Griffith Show' was so peaceful and quiet ....nobody was married!

Here are the single people that come to mind. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, the Darlin family, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara... in fact, the only one who was married was Otis, and he was the town drunk.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
On the Upper West Side of NYC lived an assimilated Jew who was now a very militant atheist. But he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its denominational roots, it's a great school, and completely secular.

After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, "By the way Dad, do you know what Trinity means? It means the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost."

The father can barely control his rage. He seizes his son by the shoulders and declares, "Danny, I'm going to tell you something now and I want you never to forget it. There is only one God... and we don't believe in him!"